Worth It
by Magnus Glitter Bane Alec
Summary: The world is not what it seems. It does not consist of things that mundans can see. It consists of what they can't. Alec can see. Alec sees everything. He was born to see after all. Because one thing is for sure. He is not a mundane. But then again neither is a certan cat-eyed Warlock. AU
1. Prologue

_So I have gotten requests to start a new story now that Different is coming to an end. And that is how this was born. I have no idea where I'm going with this but I hope you like it. So here you go._

_By the way I am stealing wifi from my grandmas neighbor and am posting from my phone for the first time ever so I'm sorry for any mistakes I make. Yeah okay that all. Enjoy now._

The streets of New York were as busy as ever as the afternoon sun shone high on the sky, casting its warmth down over all the people rushing around.

Everyone was rushing. Everyone had somewhere to go. Everyone blended with the rest in the crowd.

Well almost everyone.

There was one boy who stood out from the rest. A boy with golden hair and golden eyes. A boy who was just standing in front of a café. Standing and watching. Eyes not wavering for even a second.

That however wasnt the reason he stood up. Not really.

The reason why he stood out couldn't be seen by many. Only by the special ones. Only by the ones with magic in their blood. Someone like him.

For he was not just an ordinary mundane. Far from it actually. What can be seen by big beautiful feather covered white wings that are extended from his shoulder blades. The wings that wer getting bigger and bigger without him even noticing as seconds passed by.

That however wasnt the only thing he didn't notice though. He also didn't notice a black-haired boy walking towards him. A black-haired boy with a scowl on his face...

"Your wings are growing again." I hissed into his ear as I stopped right next to him.

He jumped in surprise, obviously not expecting anyone to talk to him.

"Alec! I didn't see you. Dont do that." He scolded before turning back towards the café. Folding his wings back all the while. Untill they were folded neatly against his back again. Like they were supposed to be in the first place.

"Of course you didn't see me. Youre stalking her again." I said in annoyance, rolling my eyes as I did. Casting a glance towards the red-haired girl who was sitting in the café. Laughing with her nerd friend. "When are you going to stop stalking her? It has been a month."

"I'm not stalking." He argued but it wasnt all that effective considering the fact that he was still staring at her.

Not stalking. Yeah right.

He has been practically obsessed with the girl since the first time he saw her a month ago.

I honestly can't understand why. She is nothing special. Just an ordinary mundane. I can point out three just like her if I look around right now.

But unfortunately he seems to see something I don't since he has been stalking her all day every day. It was annoying as hell. I don't even know her but I already hate her.

Clary. What kind of a name is that anyway. I snorted inwardly.

"Jace, we can't show ourselves to them. You remember that right? We are only here to-"

"Watch. I know." He sighed.

"Observe." I finished with a scowl. "They are not a TV show for us to watch."

"I know." He said. "I'm not going to do anything. Dont worry."

"Good. Now let's go. Izzy is waiting for us in the park."

"But why?" He whined. Making me almost start laughing at how out of character that was for him. But since he finally looked at me I fought it down. Last time I laughed at him he almost broke my arm. Some parabatai he is.

"Because I say so. Now come on." I pulled him by the arm and luckily he followed without a struggle.

He did however look over his shoulder back towards the café untill it was out of sight. Making me sigh.

I kept glancing around as we walked. Observing. Watching people laugh and cry. Feeling their distress or happiness or sadness if I stop and concentrate enough. Fixate on only one person.

Because that's what we do. That's what we are here for. We observe. We protect. But we are not allowed to interfere.

It's the one thing we can't do under any cost. It's against the law. So we can only watch them. Feel what they feel.

But that's okay. That is our job. That's how it always was and always will be.

Because we are not mundanes.

We are angels.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So how was it? Do you want me to continue? I think I have an interesting plot to go with this. And yes I couldn't resist. I guess I have a thing for angel fics. Hopefully this didn't end up as bad as I think it did. Oh and sorry its short._

_Anyway review my lovelies. hopefully you like it and want me to continue._


	2. Chapter 1

_Yay the second chapter is done. It's slightly longer this time. And sorry I didn't update earlier. I wanted to but had to decide something about this story first. And now that I have here you go. Hope you like it._

Jace and I were now walking side by side. The café far behind us as Jace kept complaining about it being unnecessary for me to drag him to the park.

What was not true and we both knew it.

We got to the park rather quickly but as we did we also got a lot of curious glances our way. Feeling all the eyes on us made me feel uncomfortable. Shrinking into myself as much as I could and trying to hide my wings by folding them as much as possible, to the point where it began to hurt. Even though they couldn't see. I was still never comfortable with it. Even after so many years.

So I just sighed and ducked my head as I continued walking.

"You are standing out too much." I hissed at Jace who was practically glowing golden under the afternoon sun.

He just shrugged. "Not my fault I'm hot."

I groaned and walked a little bit faster, trying to get at least a little away from him but he just caught up with me even though he had to half jog to do so considering that my legs are longer then his.

As we got near our destination I sighed in relief. Finally spotting who I was looking for. There under a tree by the fountain was sitting a girl with long black raven hair that was currently caught in a slight breeze.

When you first look at her you think she's a sweet and quiet girl. A girl that needs someone to take care of her. A girl that can break a guy's heart.

That is until you see her eyes. The gray eyes that challenge everyone and anyone she looks at. Eyes that make you see that she is not a sweet and quiet girl. That make you see that she is most definitely not unable to take care of herself.

And if anything I know that best. She is my sister after all.

"Finally." Izzy exclaimed as we stopped in front of her, making her look up. "What took you so long? Were you stalking again?" She asked looking at Jace now.

"What is with you two? I don't stalk." He argued but both me and Izzy rolled our eyes.

"Yeah…Keep telling yourself that." She said.

"Whatever." Jace gave up knowing that you can't win with Isabelle. "So why was I dragged here exactly?"

"Because we have a job that we have to do. And you haven't been doing it at all lately." Izzy explained.

"What do you mean by that? I have been watching."

"Watching one person doesn't count. We have to keep them all safe not just one." Izzy argued before grabbing his forearm and pulling him to her while I just stood there and wan amusement. "So that's why you are going with me today."

"What? No!" He complained looking at me with urgent pleading eyes. "Alec. Please save me. Why can't I go with you? I want to go with you."

"Sorry Jace." I gave him a not at all apologetic smile. He got this on himself after all. "No can do."

He groaned. "But.."

I couldn't hear the rest of what he said as I saw something in the corner of my eye. Something that made me freeze.

Cat eyes.

Bright god and green cat eyes that were focused on me.

I gulped and shifted uncomfortably but the eyes still stayed on me. Sharp and focused.

And then I blinked and it disappeared. He disappeared like there was no one there to begin with.

I shook my head slightly and struggled to get my attention back to my siblings. Even though hairs on the back of my neck stood up now.

"No buts. Come on lets go. Bye Alec." Izzy called to me as she pulled Jace away.

"W-Wait." I stuttered trying to get out of the sudden daze. "I'm coming too."

Jace mouthed a 'Thank you' in my direction as I caught up to them and Izzy just eyed me before shrugging. "Whatever you want."

I nodded and we started walking. Passing through crowded streets and just watching. Moving from one person to another so fast that it can only be achieved by years and years of practice. Moving to happy to sad to depressed to suicidal to happy to excided to guilty to ecstatic until your head is hurting and our mind is spinning. But it's not a new feeling so we just keep going. Because we need to make sure that nothing supernatural isn't influencing their life in any way. So we keep going.

We keep going until we can taste it. Until we can see that green glow.

Every half demon of demon leaves it when they have some kind of a contact with a mundane. It marks their territory. It shows they are theirs. And that is something that just can't happen.

Luckily it hasn't happened in a while. Downworlders are getting scared now because punishments are getting greater. And that's good. Leaving them alone is good.

As we walked though I kept seeing them again and again. The eyes. The cat eyes. There. Watching. But only for a second. One blink and its gone.

Maybe it's the heat. Maybe I'm hallucinating, I thought when I got away from Jace and izzy. Much to Jace's dismay. But I had to get away for a little bit.

So I went to the only place I feel safe at. The only place that I will ever feel safe at.

To anyone else it's nothing special. Just an ordinary rooftop on an ordinary building. But it's not that for me. For me it means safe. It means waiting. It means everything.

And that's just what I did. I waited. Every time I come here I wait. I wait and watch. But it's always there. Every time.

My wings were stretched as wide as they can be now. The slight breeze feeling heavenly as it passed over the sensitive feathers. I always loved that. It was one of the reasons why I came here in the first place. There was always some kind of a breeze.

So I just closed my eyes and enjoyed it. It felt like a spell was cast on me. It felt beautiful.

"Well Hello there beautiful." A voice from somewhere behind me boomed.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think. _

_So that's the second chapter. The third one will be fun. I bet you have tons of unanswered questions now. But I'll have to leave you in suspense for a little bit longer. _

_Anyway I am going to be posting once a week. If possible twice but I can't promise anything. So yeah that's it for now._

_Review my lovelies._


	3. Chapter 2

_I kind of feel sentimental today because of Different (even though it has only been a few days). Anyway because of it I feel like I just need to post today. I'm too used to it. So I decided that yes I will post today. _

_Here you go. Hope you like it._

"Well Hello there beautiful." A voice from somewhere behind me boomed.

I could feel a presence behind me. Walking closer and closer. I however didn't turn around. A small smile tugged on my lips though.

"God you know how much I love your wings Alexander." He practically moaned and I barely kept myself from laughing.

"Hi Magnus." I greeted him quietly. But I knew he could hear. "Why are you here?"

He chuckled and I could just imagine the smirk that he had on his face right now.

"Well I'm here to beg my darling for a kiss." He said from right behind me before leaning forward so that I could feel the heat radiating from his body seeping to mine. "I missed you…" He whispered into my ear. Making a shiver run down my spine.

"I missed you too." I whispered back. Knowing that I shouldn't but not able to stop myself.

And then I did another this that I know I shouldn't have. I turned my head and looked back at him. And it was the biggest mistake I could have made. Just like I knew it would be.

Seeing him made my heart beat faster just like every time. My breath hitched slightly as my eyes looked him over without my consent. Over the sinfully tight white jeans that left nothing to imagination. Then moving to the blue shirt. A shirt I knew all too well. A shirt that sure as hell isn't just another piece of clothing to either of us. And then there was the eyeliner… The black eyeliner that made his gold and green cat eyes even more noticeable.

By The Angel he is going to kill me one day; I thought only for my mind go blank a second later when his hand came to rest on my upper arm.

That small contact after so long made my whole body warm and my heart to almost stop.

His long fingers were wrapped around my arm like they were meant to. Like it is the most normal and perfect thing in the world. And all I could do was close my eyes because this is against the law. This isn't supposed to be happening. I shouldn't be reacting like this. He shouldn't have this affect on me. But still…He does. He always did.

For more than one hundred years now.

He turned me around abruptly. Putting his arms around me tightly, careful not to touch my wings, and pulled to his chest in an embrace.

"Magnus…" I breathed out. But there was something unspoken in my voice. Something we both knew.

"Don't you dare." He growled into my ear. "Please just… Just for a little bit. It has been two years. Just let me hold you for a little bit."

I felt unshed tears in my eyes but I didn't let them fall. I couldn't.

I should pull away. I knew I should. But I didn't. I couldn't. By The Angel I missed him so much.

Before I knew it my arms were around him too and my head was leaning onto the crook of his shoulder. Taking in his scent. The all too familiar scent. He rested his chin on my head in return as a sad sight escaped his lips.

I don't know how long we stayed like that. But neither of us was willing to let go so we didn't.

"How did you get away?" I asked. Breaking the silence reluctantly. But I needed to know.

"It wasn't that hard." He joked. "They are really bad at tracking."

I nodded slightly before slowly starting to pull away. Everything in me screaming not to but still I knew I had to. If I stay any longer I don't think I will be able to let go again. And that is something that can't happen. I need to let go. This isn't right. This will get us both killed.

The tears were back and it only got worse when I saw his face. He was in no better shape than me.

"Alec just…Just once. Please." He begged looking like he is in pain. Looking just like I did at the moment.

"Magnus…"

"Please." He breathed again. Pulling me close so that his lips are so close to mine. I could feel his hot breath on my skin and it was killing me from the inside.

Why? Why does it have to be like this? Why do we have to suffer like this? I knew the answer to every one of those questions and it was killing me even more.

"Please. Alexander…" He whispered before pressing his lips onto mine.

Tears were now falling freely from my eyes as I kissed him back. Closing my eyes. Loving the feeling of his soft lips on mine, of his arms around me and his body pressed against me. It felt safe. It felt good. It felt like coming home. After so many years…I was finally home.

If this was one of the fairytales mundane tell to their children there would be a 'And they lived happily ever after' right about now.

But it's not.

And so the only thing we have is pain as I reluctantly pull away and break the kiss. Missing the contact immediately but knowing that it can't happen again.

I have to go. I thought it but didn't voice it out. He knew anyway. He could see it in my eyes. He always knew.

So he did what he does every time. He kissed my forehead lightly. A barely there touch that made my eyes close again. Wishing for the time to stop. Wishing for us to stay like this forever. Wishing for our happily ever after that I knew we will never have.

But for that one moment I could pretend. So that's what I did.

I pretender that I can stay. I pretended that what we have isn't wrong. I pretended that we have a happily ever after.

But then the moment was over and my hopes were shattered just like every time before as his lips weren't pressed against my skin anymore.

"I love you." He whispered before pulling away fully.

My eyes were still closed and my heart clenched painfully at his words. A soft sob threatening to escape my lips but I choked it down.

I didn't say it back. I never do.

So I just opened my eyes and looked at him one last time before turning back towards the edge. Getting ready to fly away. And that's exactly what I did. I flew up to the sky and left him behind with a painful heart. Not daring to look back. It hurt too much as it is. But we don't have a choice. We never had a choice.

I just left in silence. Feeling his eyes on me as I did.

Neither of us said goodbye.

We never do.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_So are you surprised? Didn't expect that one did you? Are you confused yet? Or did I actually explain something with this? Hopefully I did. But yes I know I have a lot of explaining to still do so you'll just have to wait until the next chapter which will hopefully come soon. I would say sorry for breaking your hearts with this but I am so not sorry. I am very very far away from sorry._

_Oh By the way is anyone here reading All Fall Down? If so, sorry for not updating for a while. Do you want me to? I think I can try and make some time for it this week…? I don't know… I'm going to try but no promises okay._

_Well anyway for now review my lovelies._


	4. Chapter 3

_Sorry for the wait but here it is now. It's short but I hope you like it._

The room was black. The dead of the night not giving any light through the closed window. But still there was a strange glow lingering on the bed. A strange red glow that made the blue eyed boy on the bed sigh. Red reflecting in his eyes as he looked at his outstretched hand. Watching as transparent red lingered on his skin like poison. But still at the same time... It felt safe. It made him feel like he belonged somewhere for even a little while.

Even if he couldn't be where he belonged…

"Demit I'm wishing again." I muttered under my breath as I put the bracelet back on, efficiently dispersing the red glow. Leaving me in a pitch black room again.

It was a simple thin black leather bracelet. Something that blends in and doesn't raise suspicion to why I wear it all the time. Why I haven't taken in off for two years now. Mostly people don't even notice I have it.

But every time I see it my heart clenches in longing.

Magnus gave me that bracelet. He enchanted it and gave it to me so glow can't be seen by anyone. The glow that shows that I'm marked by a Downworlder. By someone with demonic blood.

Mundanes have the green glow. But angels…Angels have a red one and are cast out the second it shows. It is the biggest crime you can do. And by that it is punished severally. Death is too soft of a punishment. No. They do something worse.

The make you fall. They make you a fallen angel. Cast you from your family and from your life in shame. They turn your soul black and leave you alone between mundane for all eternity.

It could have happened to me. It would have happened to me. But Magnus made sure it doesn't. That last time I saw him two years ago he made sure I'm safe.

And every time I see the bracelet it hurts. It has been hurting for two years now. But after I saw him today somehow it hurts even more.

He was here. He was with me. And I could have stayed. I could have easily ran away with him. Away from this cursed life so I can finally be happy.

But I can't put myself through that again. Put us through that.

We were foolish enough to think like that once and look where it got us. It got us three days together and two years apart.

But even so…I can't find it in myself to regret it. I can't find it in myself to regret those three days. It were the best three days of my life and even with the consequences I wouldn't change them for anything.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Aaand done. Next chapter will be the flashback basically. I promise it will be longer. The longest chapter for this story so bare with me on this one. Anyway you will finally see what actually happened. Sorry for the crappie chapter by the way. I knew what I had to do just didn't know how. So yeah that's it for now. Hopefully I will update faster next time. Maybe even tomorrow, you know to say sorry for this. You never know…_

_So review my lovelies._


	5. Chapter 4

_Sorry sorry sorry. I really didn't intend to have you wait this long. I was really supposed to post it the next day but I kind of started a new fic. And first time ever it isn't malec and I kind of might have gotten carried away. But don't worry I'm not neglecting this one. Sorry for not posting last week but it won't happen again I promise. _

_Anyway without further ado here you go. Hope you like it._

It was dark and rather cold as I made my way through the abandoned streets. Trying to be as unnoticeable as possible because this part of town is dangerous to be found at. Even if I can take care of myself just being seen will ruin everything in a second.

The wind was so strong and cold that at this point I had my wings wrapped around me as I determinedly kept going.

Just a little bit more. Almost there. Not long now.

With every step closer to my destination my heart was beating harder in my chest. My whole body feeling more and more excited because I'm almost there. Almost free.

A sudden blue light lingering from one of the closed doors on surrounding buildings snapped my head up to look at it, hurrying my pace as I did.

"Magnus." I called out as I grabbed the doorknob and turned it, the door swinging open as I did. Reveling a man standing in the middle of a dark room. A man with black hair and a lean body that was currently covered in black clothes. Looking a lot different then he usually does.

A figure turned and gold and green eyes met mine. A spark that I haven't seen in a long time now very strong in them.

"Alexander my love." He greeted me with a smile but it sounded more like a sigh of relief. Considering the circumstances I guess it was. "You came."

I returned his smile, relaxing a little myself now that I'm actually here. There wasn't even a little part of me that didn't want this. That wanted to back out. Actually I was craving it. Needing to get away as much as I needed to breathe. And the fact that it will only be a few minutes more made my heart beat faster.

"Of course I came. It's you." I looked at the floor at the last part. Still not used to saying things like that. I don't think I ever will be.

A hand is on my wrist a second later. Warm fingers curving against it softly before I am pulled forward. My chest hitting his as his arms go around me. Soft sweet lips covering mine in a kiss that is full of love. A kiss that I never want to pull out of.

"We're almost free darling. You ready?" He whispers into my ear after the kiss, sending pleasant shivers down my spine as his hot breath hits my skin and all I can do is nod.

"Good." He whispered again with a smile before pulling away. Still not letting go of my hand. A fact that made me smile and be even surer about my decision.

"Let's go then darling. Our future together awaits." He said cheerily as he pulled me towards the illuminating blue light that was the only source of light in the room. The blue light that was coming from a portal that Magnus made against one of the walls.

A portal that is our way out. Our way to happiness.

We looked at each other one last time before stepping inside. Leaving our old life's behind without a second thought. Because it is not worth the pain. Nothing is worth the pain of craving and needing to be together but not able to. Of loving each other but not being able to say it. Nothing will ever be worth it. And it is about time we get a piece of happiness too.

…

It was a slow night in Paris. A night that makes you just stop and stare because you can. Because you have the time to do so. And the first time in my life it was true.

I let out a sigh as I leaned onto the railing on the balcony of our hotel room and just let my gaze linger on the beautiful sight of the city below.

My mind wondering to everything I just left behind without a second thought. Of my brother and sister that didn't even get a goodbye. They must have noticed that I'm not coming back right about now. I wish I was able to say something so that they don't get worried. But I couldn't. I let out another sigh at that.

"What are you sighing about?" A familiar low voice breathed into my ear as strong hands wrapped around me and warm chest was pressed against my back beig carefull with my folded wings all the same. "Aren't you happy?" There was uncertainty in his voice that you don't get to hear often.

I smiled at that and covered his hands with mine in reassurance. "I am. Of course I'm happy. I'm with you aren't I?"

I looked over my shoulder and saw him happily smile at me but the uncertainty was still lingering in his eyes. "Then why are you sighing?"

"I feel bad for leaving Jace and Izzy to worry." I admitted sheepishly and instantly his smile softened as he looked at me with so much love I thought my heart will surely stop if it keeps going so fast. Is it even possible to love someone so much?

"Of course you do." He cherished my cheek lightly. "Your selflessness is what I love most about you."

"I'm selfish right now." I reminded him with a smile. My back pressed against the fence by this point.

"You are. And I couldn't love you more for it then I do at this very moment." He leaned so that our lips were almost touching. His warm breath hitting my lips. "I love you Alexander." He whispered and if there was ever a moment that had to be stopped and lived in forever it would be this one. I felt like melting in happiness from the words.

We never said it before. He always implied it but never said it upfront. To hear it felt even better than I could have ever imagined.

I kissed him then. Closing that little gap that was left between our lips. Unable to say it back yet even though it's true. I love him. I love him more than words. But I still can't make myself say it. The rules were still pulling me down. But I will get there. I will tell him one day. I will.

He knows though. He has always known.

We made love for the first time that night.

I didn't know it at the moment but it will end up being the last one too.

I snapped out of my thoughts. Remembering everything again.

If I'd have known I would have done something. Anything to change what happened later. But still I wouldn't change what we had in that short time for the world.

Next morning I woke up glowing faintly red. A sign of being claimed by a demon. It should have made me worry. Made me react badly but all I could do was smile. Because it's Magnus. It's a sign that Magnus is mine and I am his. And I couldn't do anything at that but smile happily as my heart warmed up.

Waking up next to Magnus is the most perfect thing in the world. And I had it for three days. Three beautiful mornings filled with smiles and lazy soft kisses. Filled with laughter and happiness. Making me want more. Making me selfish for the first time in my life because I didn't want it to end.

But it did end. Everything has to end.

We were hoping it won't. We were hoping and praying that we will be left alone. That we will be left to continue living like we did those three days. Happy and easy. Perfect.

But we should have known better. We shouldn't have been so stupid because it wasn't long before they found me.

They didn't know why I disappeared. They didn't know about Magnus. All they knew is that I'm gone and I need to get back. And just like that our little paradise was shattered.

He managed to sense them coming though. Not fast enough for us to have time to disappear. But just enough for him to charm a bracelet so it hides the glow.

Mere seconds after I slipped it on the door opened forcefully.

We didn't even get one last kiss or a goodbye before he was forced to run. And run he did. For two months. He ran from angels for two whole months. Two months that he was away from me. Two months of no contact what so ever. It was hell.

They didn't know what happened. They just saw a half demon and an angel that went missing without an explanation.

They didn't ask for explanations and I didn't give them any. They just assumed that Magnus is the bad guy here. And I was unable to say otherwise.

And just like that they brought be back home. Home that never felt that much of a home in a long time now. Because there is no home without Magnus. It has been like that for far too long.

Izzy and Jace were worried and asked questions to which I couldn't give them an answer so they gave up after a while. Seeing that I won't talk. I was grateful for that.

But still…It hurt. Going back, pretending like nothing happened hurt.

How can you go back to hell after you had a taste of haven?

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Sorry for that but this is a T rated fic so no smut. Even though if you want I can write it as a oneshot when I find the time. Do you guys want me to? So anyway I know it's not very good but I hope you like it and will review. Told you it will be the longest chapter so far. Hope you are not disappointed with it and again sorry for the wait._

_Review my lovelies._


	6. Chapter 5

_Happy Valentine's Day guys! I wasn't supposed to post today but then I thought that why the hell not. Its valentine's day and what better way to celebrate it but by giving you a Malec filled fluffy chapter. Well kind of fluffy. But anyway to cut my rant short, here you go and hope you like it._

The stars were shining brightly on the dark sky. It looked so beautiful I just couldn't look away. Looking up at the twinkling stars while warm summer breeze rustled my feathers but it felt nice.

"Beautiful isn't it?" A voice asked beside me making me smile. I heard the footsteps as he first arrived but I was waiting for him to say something first. I always do.

"Yes it is." I breathed out. Glancing toward him at the corner of my eye, noticing a soft smile on his lips and a spark in his eyes as he looked up to.

Noticing I'm watching him he fully turned to me and pulled me into his embrace. "But not nearly as beautiful as you darling."

I blushed but wasn't able to say anything in response-scold him probably for saying that all the time-before his lips were pressed against mine.

It was a gentle kind of kiss. A kind of kiss that makes you feel like you're about to melt. A kiss I should be used to by now but wasn't. I don't think I ever will be. Our lips fit together perfectly and I didn't hesitate in kissing him back. I haven't hesitated for more than eighty years now.

"Good evening Alexander. Always a pleasure." He said as we pulled apart and I couldn't help but laugh at the cheesiness that was accompanied by a grin.

"Evening my fine sir." I bowed my head slightly going along with it and we both ended up laughing.

"So for how long can I have you?" Magnus asked, unintentionally tightening his arms around me a bit. I didn't mind and just sent him a small smile.

"Three hours is the best I could do." I said, smile turning sad at the short time we have after a few days of being apart. But it's always short time. We can't afford longer. We can't take that risk.

"Okay great." He turned cheerful but we both knew he is as sad about the time slipping through our fingers as much as me. We never do seem to make it slow down enough. It passes way to fast. "Best get going then. I have something special planned for you tonight."

"Oh do you now?" I teased with a smile as I let him drag me forward with him.

"It is Valentine's day after all." He sent another warm smile my way, pulling my hand that was in his to his lips and kissing the back of I softly.

"You know I don't celebrate that." I said but didn't care much for it anyway. If Magnus wanted to then I did too.

"Humor me."

It wasn't a long walk. It only took a few minutes before we got to a park and Magnus stopped before entering it. Covering my eyes with one hand.

"Magnus what-" I started in contusion but he silenced me with a quick kiss.

"Trust me will you. I won't let you bump into a tree or anything. Trust me?" He asked in a whisper, sounding a bit like he's afraid of the answer.

"Always." I answered with a smile, letting him maneuver me forward. And after another quick kiss he did.

As promised I didn't run into a tree as he led me ahead with one hand still cowering my eyes and the other on the small of my back. And then we stopped again.

"Okay. You can look now." He let go of me and uncovered my eyes, doing it almost hesitantly.

The second my eyes were open I gasped at what was before me.

We were surrounded by trees that had lights covering them and making the dark night a little less dark. Flowers were everywhere and in the middle of it all was a picnic blanket with food on it. Fireflies flying around freely. It looked so…magical.

"You didn't have to do this." I said as I turned to him, eyes still slighter wider than normal because this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.

"Do you like it?" He asked ignoring my comment. "I was thinking about buying you flowers but you would have probably hit me with them."

I laughed in pure happiness only Magnus can make me feel and hugged him tightly. "I love it."

I felt him smile against my shoulder. "Good."

"Alec!" A loud voice called me, snapping me out of my thoughts. And just like that I was once again I was sitting in a café with Jace. When did I trail off again?

"Hm Yeah?"

"Are you okay? I've been calling you for a few minutes now. You just kept watching nothing with a distanced look on your face." His eyebrows were furrowed in concern as he asked and I quickly shook my head.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Just got distracted that's all." I gave him a reassuring smile to calm him down.

"If you say so. You've just been doing it a lot lately." He still wasn't convinced.

"Really don't worry about it." I repeated before standing up. "I'm just going to take a walk to clear my mind a bit. Just continue your staling on your own." I glanced towards the red haired girl that was sitting a few tables away from ours before walking away.

"Hey it's not stalking." He called after me but I barely caught it as I hurried outside.

This really needs to stop; I thought a little later as I walked, it may have been only minutes but by the sky that was considerably darker now it must have been hours since I left Jace. I can't keep on going like this. Remembering it all over and over again. We can't risk things like that anymore no matter how much I want to see him again.

It has been a week since he came back and I haven't seen him once. I've seen glances of radiant ca eyes here and there indicating that he was keeping close but that's all. I wanted to get to him so badly every time I saw him but I retrained myself. I can't anymore. I'll just get hurt even more. We won't be so lucky next time. That I know for sure. But, Angel I miss him so much.

"You're going to crash into someone while lost in thought like that love." Magnus's voice whispered into my ear as he found himself next to me in a second.

It was like he just read my thoughts. Like I summoned him by sheer will power.

But no matter how nice it felt to finally have him next to me again the fact is still the same.

We can't.

"Magnus we c-" I started talking but he pressed a hand on my lips before I could finish it and dragged me to the first alleyway before letting go and turning me to face him.

"Please don't say that. Please." He begged with both his eyes and his voice. It made my stomach clench because we can't. We shouldn't. We will for sure get caught now. I am being watched more closely now after everything. We can't.

But those eyes. I can't live without those eyes. Without Magnus. It was like my body was fighting against my heart and it was tearing me apart as I gazed into his eyes.

"Magnus-"

"No. Please." He pulled me so I was pressed against him. "Please lets go back to how it was before at least. I can't stand this Alexander. I can't stand to keep away. I love you. I can't live without you. Please. Just…Please."

I was crumbling under his eyes. My weak resolve shattering. I want it too. I want it so bad. I can't live without him either. I can't. I knew that a long time ago but somehow the feeling just got stronger the more time passed. It made the fact that we were away for so long so much worse.

I kissed him. I couldn't hold myself back anymore and I found myself leaning forward and pressing my lips to the ones I have been craving for the whole week. Not regretting it. Not regretting it one bit.

"M-" I was about to say yes. I wanted to say yes but was interrupted when there was a faint sound of cracking of flames.

I cut myself off and stepped away from Magnus as the sound got louder until flames were visible and a small piece of paper found itself in front of me.

I snatched it up and immediately saw that it was from Jace.

As I read it I froze almost stopped breathing. It was a short message but enough to get my blood running cold.

**Help me. I screwed up.**

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_The cliffy was necessary and you know it. Hope that was good. I'm finally getting on with the plot so yay. _

_Now I have some important stuff to tell you. First things first; this fanfic won't be very long. Maybe ten more chapters to go I think. Not sure yet. When I know you'll know. And now for the second thing…I'm sorry to say this but I have to finish all and every fanfic that I have by the time the last book comes out. I just have a feeling that it will break my heart and I won't be able to write stuff like this that easily anymore. Now that is just the worst scenario possible so I'm only taking precautions' here just in case. So yeah now you know by what time this will end. But there is no point in dwelling on that right now so let's just go back to this chapter. I really hope you liked it._

_So review my lovelies._


	7. Chapter 6

_Sorry for the wait. I have nothing else to say but Here you go and hope you like it._

I ran down the streets as fast as I could to get to get to Jace as fast as possible. Feeling anxious and concerned from the second the message came. I could also feel Magnus staying close. He wouldn't let me go unless I let him come with. Keeping his distance of course.

I would have waved it off saying that he worries too much but It's Jace and I was currently worried as hell. There was only one thing he could have done and I was hoping with everything in me that I was wrong. Because otherwise we are toast. Completely toast. He can't be that stupid can he?

"What the hell did you do?" I was asking even before I got into the building we were currently staying at.

But the second I did I froze in my tracks. My eyes resting on one of my worst nightmares.

Yes. He is that stupid.

There she was. The red-haired girl Jace has been obsessed with. She was sitting on a couch next to Jace with a blanket thrown over her as they talked. But all talking seized when they saw me.

Jace quickly stood up and got in front of the girl in an almost defensive stance, wings getting outstretched slightly out of reflex.

I sighed at seeing this. Does he really think I would do something to her?

I just didn't want him to have a life I have. A life of secrets and hiding and fears. So many fears and so many sleepless nights. I didn't want that. I don't want that for anyone let alone Jace. And I was hoping, no matter how vague that hope was that he will be smart enough to stay away. Smart enough to not interfere.

I guess it's too late now.

I passed a hand through my hair in frustration and took a few deep breaths before calming down enough to actually talk and not yell.

"You have two minutes." I said slowly, staring right into his gold eyes.

"I'm sorry okay. She was attacked by a vampire. What was I supposed to do? Just stand back and watch him drain the life out of her? Wait enough to be completely sure 'she's being harmed' and call for the council? It's all bullshit. I couldn't watch her die okay. I couldn't. So please just…Help me." He looked at her fondly over his shoulder and seeing him look at her like that would have been explanation enough.

I know that look way too well. I have that look every time I'm with Magnus. I see it on Magnus's face every time he makes me smile. I know it. I was just hoping I would never see the day to see it on him. Not like this.

I sighed again and walked closer. Looking at Jace expectantly as I got to him to what he reluctantly stepped sideways. Leaving me face to face with the girl that looked pretty held together for someone who lived through so many shocks in so little time. I can only imagine what happened to that vampire and it isn't pretty. Angry Jace isn't someone you want to mess with.

I looked her over before reaching and touching her arm. She flinched from the touch but I just held on tighter, closing my eyes in a second of concentration before opening my eyes again and groaning at what I saw.

It was white. Barely there. But still visible if you know what to look for.

"Jace. Kissing her wasn't needed to save her." I said slowly as I moved to glare at him. "You left your mark on her. Not a complete mark but a beginning of one. That can't be undone and you know that."

"I know. And I'm not sorry for doing it but I don't want her getting hurt. They will hurt her and they will cast me away. Make me fall. Please I need help to get out of this before they see. Before it gets out of control. You are the only one I could call. I don't know what to do."

"Okay I know. I know. Just let me think." I asked and finally let go of her. "I don't suppose you can live with never seeing her again?" I asked with no hope for it what so ever.

"You're kidding right? I just got her."

I thought so. I thought fighting off another sigh, looking back down at her again. Noticing for the first time that she hasn't said anything since I came in. It wasn't until that hit me that something else hit me to. One thing that can maybe solve all the problems. No, not a thing. A person. A person that was we speak. But am I willing to risk it?

I looked from one to the other. They just got together. I can't just break them apart. I can't. I know how much it hurts.

I took a deep shaky breath before speaking. "Do you trust me?"

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Sorry for the shortness and over all suckiness of the chapter. It's late and I'm supposed to be doing my homework for tomorrow but I promised you guys to post at least once a week so I had to. I really hope you liked it regardless._

_Please review my lovelies._


	8. Chapter 7

_I made you wait again. I'm sorry. I was supposed to update Monday but yeah…life got in the way. But anyway here you go now. Hope you like it._

"Do you trust me?" The question was intended for Jace who was by this point looking more at the girl longingly then at me.

Hearing that I was actually talking to him he snapped out of it and looked at me with eyebrows furrowed and eyes confused.

"Of course I trust you. I wouldn't have called you otherwise."

"Good." I nodded slightly, satisfied with the response. "I need you to leave."

"Leave?" Jace argued immediately just like I knew he would. "I can't just leave. Why do you want me to leave?"

"I don't want you to leave, I need it." He looked skeptical still so I continued reassuringly. "You don't have to worry. I'll make sure she is safe and sound. But if you need the both of you alive and unharmed you need to leave us alone for now."

Jace still looked unwilling but after another glance towards the girl he sighed, giving in.

He leaned down and kissed her one last time before whispering a quiet goodbye and leaving. Making me extremely uncomfortable to watch the exchange. The exchange that was too affectionate and familiar on both parts for it too be something new. Seeing this only made me more sure of what I've been thinking since I touched her. But there is only one way to be sure.

The second the door clicked closed behind him and steps walking away could be heard I turned towards the quiet girl. Trying to remember her name.

"So how long ago did he show himself?" I asked her, knowing that it's better to get over the lie first.

Her head snapped up in surprise. "What do you mean? I only saw him an hour ago."

Claire? No. Maybe its Cary or Chary? No wait. Clary. Yeah that's it.

"Oh come on Clary we both know that's not true." I said, sitting down next to her. "You may have been attacked by a vampire an hour ago but he didn't just then show himself to you. It must have been at least two days."

"How do you know? He said you won't know. That's there is no reason for you to know that-"

"That you were already seen by an angel or at least someone who may say something to The Clave? Yeah I figured it's why he called me now considering you've known for a bit. I know him better then he thinks I do." I flashed her a small smile so she relaxes a bit more. "Don't worry I won't tell him I know. But I would have known anyway because of the glow."

"What do you mean? What glow?" She looked down at her arms in confusion. Trying to see what I see and obviously failing at it.

"You can't see it but he marked you in a way the second the two of you kissed. It's very faint since you did only kiss plus he's an angel. Angels glow is white and not as…bright and noticeable as a demons one is. Plus it takes a while to develop as a mark so that's how I know it must have been days."

"Four." She said slowly, still looking down. "It's been four days since he showed himself to me."

I sighed at that. Of course it has. Just as I lowered my guard he had to do something like that. "I really should have seen it coming." I mumbled more to myself then her before speaking up again. "Well now that that's out of the way we need to get rid of the glow so the angels can't find you."

"And you will do that how?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "From the way you've been talking it doesn't seem like something that goes away easily."

"Oh it doesn't. It can't be taken away at all."

"Then what are you-"

"A mark can't be taken away once it's there but it can be hidden." I explained before turning to her fully. "Is there something you always wear? Some piece of jewelry or something that you never or at least rarely take off?"

"I have this bracelet…" She trailed off as she took the thin silver bracelet off of her wrist.

"Perfect." I took it from her before taking out a piece of paper and writing a quick message on it before drawing a fire rune and watching it burn away.

The second it burst into flames Clary jumped in surprise.

"Don't worry. I'm just sending a message to someone." Just as I said it the paper burned away fully and we were left in slightly uncomfortable silence. Not for long though because just a minute or so later the cracking of flames could be heard.

**A spell? Sure darling. I just need the bracelet in my hands to charm it.**

I smiled as I read the response before turning back to Clary and closing my fingers over the bracelet in question. "I will have to step out for a little bit. But whatever happens from this point onwards Jace can't know. Okay? You need to promise me this or I won't be able to help."

"I won't tell him but what are you going to do?" She looked concerned now as she stood just as Ii did, following me.

"Something he must never know about. If he asks how we hid the glow you just say I thought you how to hide it by your mind because sometimes it can be done but right now we don't have the time for that. So please just stay here for a few minutes while I go do what I have to do and then when I come back just put the bracelet on no questions asked. Can you do that? Please." Desperation could be heard in my voice by the end.

"Okay." She sat back down. "Okay."

"Good."

And with one last smile I was walking out of the door too. Down the street and into the side alley where I knew Magnus was hiding.

"Hi there love." Arms found themselves around me and my back was pressed against his chest as he whispered into my ear before kissing the back of my neck. "The bracelet please." He opened one of his hands palm upwards for me to put the bracelet on which was exactly what I did. Not even trying to get out of his embrace.

I missed it so much. Missed him. Maybe a little too much but I don't care. It was never any different. I always missed him when we were apart. And I think I always will.

I just hope we finally find a way to not be apart so much. Because I swear one day…It will be the death of me.

And as I watched him chant the spell in the darkness of the alley and lighting in with a faint blue glow that fact hit me harder than ever. Because I really can see it happening. And that's the worst part.

I can see one of us dying in the end of this messed up and complicated love story.

And that is something I can't let happen.

Not now.

And not ever.

I will make sure of it.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_I don't know. I really don't. I have no idea what I'm doing. Hopefully not screwing everything up but I feel like that's too much to hope for. Still I really hope it isn't._

_So you know please review my lovelies._


	9. Chapter 8

_Sorry for not posting last week I'm getting bad again but here it is now. Hope you like it._

I was counting the days again.

One day since I last saw him. Three days since our last touch. Four days and twenty hours since our last kiss.

I hated it. I couldn't stand it as I played with my bracelet again. Imagining him there. Imagining his fond smile and cat eyes and warm body as he held me in his embrace. His voice as he whispered into my ear sweet nothings just because he can. Every one of those secret filled moments that we were together but not allowed talking about later were the only things in my mind for hours now. Days even.

But the one thing that was killing me more than anything was the fact that I never did end up giving him an answer that day. I didn't manage to sneak out since that day Jace called for me. He was keeping a close eye on me knowing that something isn't right.

Later when he got back to Clary again he believed our story and Clary as promised said nothing. It made me sigh in relief at the time but I was stupid. I should have figured out that Jace will find something suspicious in my trying to go once he got back. He knows something is going on just doesn't know what. And because of that I can't go see Magnus and its torture. Especially after the message I got yesterday.

The mere thought of it made me worry.

It woke me up at three am. The cracking of flames. The blue light. The paper appearing with only two sentences that made me unable to go back to sleep from the worry.

**They found me but I got away. Wait for me.**

It didn't have to say who found him. I knew. I knew immediately.

The archangels are back. The same ones that have made Magnus run for the past year. The same ones who found us together after our foolish attempt of running away. And if they are back here it can't be good. It definitely isn't good.

Tears found themselves in my eyes but I didn't let them fall as I stared into empty space. He can be caught by now. He can be dead by now.

It has been four days and twenty hours since our last kiss. Will it really be our last?

…

A week has passed now. A week since the message. A week since I stopped sleeping through the night because I can't. I just can't. I never gave him the freaking answer. I never managed to say yes. Yes of course we can try again. Of course we can go back to how it was. Of course I can't live without you.

And with every passing hour I wonder will I ever manage to say it.

At least Jace is happy though. He and Clary are both. They're good at hiding. And the bracelet is doing its job so if they keep going like this everything will be fine. And I really hope they do. They look good together. Jace deserves a little happiness anyway.

I walked to the edge of the roof still deep in thought.

I started going here again more and more lately. He said to wait. So I'm waiting. I'm waiting on our roof top. On one of the oldest buildings in the city. On the place where we always find a way back to each other no matter what.

A small smile found itself on my lips as I remembered the first time we ended up here.

"_What are you doing?" I asked Magnus as he tried to cower my eyes with one of his hands._

"_You'll see. Just hold your eyes closed. It's a surprise."_

"_I don't want to." I teased and then yelped as he lightly pulled at one of my feathers._

"_No back talking young man. Close." He said with a smile clear in his voice._

"_Young?" I huffed. "I'm just a few hundred years younger than you."_

"_You're still younger." He chuckled and then halted all movement. "Okay you can open your eyes now."_

_I did as I was told and looked around in surprise as I saw that we are on top of a building._

"_What are we doing here?" I asked, looking back at Magnus who had a big smile on his face._

"_Go to the edge." He nodded towards the edge, a smile still there and eyes positively sparkling._

"_You won't push me off will you?" I teased as I made my way towards it._

"_Of course not darling. And plus you my love have wings so you can just as easily just fly off even if someone pushes you." He reminded me as he followed._

_I chuckled, standing at the very edge now and looking down at the city as a light breeze rustled my hair._

"_Spread your wings." There was a whisper in my ear. It sent shivers down my spine but again I did as I was told without any hesitation even though I did want to ask him why he wanted me to do that._

_My silent question was however answered as another breeze blew just a little bit stronger and it felt like heaven as it passed through my wings._

_I found myself letting out a content sigh and then warm hands were on my lower back making me relax even more._

"_I told you to trust me." He said happily and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh as a kiss was pressed on top of my head. "I love you Alexander."_

_I was in shock at hearing those words leave his lips for the first time. Because it's not right. This is not supposed to be happening. He is not supposed to say that. Not to me. But still my heart skipped a beat at hearing those words. Everything suddenly felt so much righter as I leaned onto the body behind me some more. Accepting the words in the only way I can. Silently and in secret but he understood. He always understands._

Those words were on the tip of my tongue too. Those three words that will make everything all the more permanent. But they never did end up leaving my lips. I knew I couldn't. I still know that. It's not right. No matter how true I can't utter those three words so lightly. I can't pretend that everything will be all right because we both know it won't. So the words were choked down that time. And every time afterwards. Every time I choked them down. Because I can't. I just can't.

There was some rustling behind me and I quickly turned around only to be met by the one thing I have been craving to see for a week. The only thing that is ever able to calm me down.

Those eyes. Those beautiful breathtaking cat eyes.

He smiled and I did the same as we just looked at each other. Not moving. Just watching.

He looked unharmed. Warn out but unharmed and that was the best I could ask. That was always the best I can hope for.

There was a silent question in his eyes.

A question that I knew was the same one that I have been wanting to answer all the time we were apart. A question that held even more meaning now that the archangels are back. And I knew that he will leave if I want him to. One word and he will leave without a word. Because he understand. And because he does it was only one more reason to never say it. To never say no no matter what the risk is.

I deserve to be selfish every once in a while. I deserve to be happy.

"Yes." I heard the word quietly leave my lips but he heard it. He always hears it.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_This is what happenes when you go write while listening to The Fray. I'm just getting started though. There is a lot more to come. And the archangels are back. What do you think will happen now? Will they catch Magnus? Will they find out about them? Or will they maybe find out about Clary? Or maybe something else all together? What do you think?_

_There are about 14 chapters left to write I think. So yeah I hope you liked this one._

_Please review my lovelies._


	10. Chapter 9

_You guys are just awesome! I love every one of you. Everyone who ever reviewed, favorited or followed this story. You are all amazing. Thank you for reading and getting me to 100 reviews this fast. I couldn't believe it when I saw it so thank you my amazing readers._

_As my sign of gratitude here is another chapter. Hope you like it._

Light snoring and warm skin were the things I woke up to, a smile appearing on my face immediately as I saw a lean tall flawless body lying next to me on a big comfy bad.

Magnus's sleeping face was always my favorite thing to wake up to. Even if I did only get to see it a few times. I just wish I could wake up to it every morning.

Sleep was still clinging to me as I barely managed to keep my eyes open no matter the light of the morning sun that was hitting our bare skin for the half open window. The breeze it was sending it felt wonderful on my heated skin and ruffled feathers and all I could do was turn lazily and singled even more into Magnus's embrace as I closed my eyes once again. A content smile on my lips because if this isn't heaven I don't know what is.

Magnus subconsciously tightened his arms around me and shifted so we were lying more comfortably, still asleep. I honestly wasn't far from it either. Sleep sounded very nice on this lazy morning.

Just as I was about to slip into sleep again I felt a little shock of electricity pass through my spine.

My eyes snapped open is surprise at the sudden and unfamiliar feeling. It wasn't even like electricity. It was just…Tingly. Weird and foreign.

Frowning I touched my lower back but there was nothing. The feeling passed as fast as it appeared.

What was that?

I shifted, feeling uncomfortable and watched all of the sudden.

However that didn't seem as such a good idea as I saw something fall on the pillow in front me. Something that made my eyes open wide in horror more than anything this time. Horor at seeing one thing I have been terrified of my whole life.

It was a feather. My feather.

But it was black.

Frantically I grabbed my wing and pulled so I can see it. So I can see that my eyes were just playing tricks on me. That this wasn't happening. This can't be happening. But that wasn't what I was met with. No. What I was met with turned my pale skin paler and heart beating faster in horrified fear.

The pearl white feathers that once adored my wings were now pitch black. All black. I felt like I just stared into a black hole. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream but suddenly I felt too weak to even move.

There was some shifting next to me as Magnus started waking up from my sudden movements.

"Alexander wha-" His eyes opened and the sleepy mumbles were gone in a second as his eyes turned as wide as mine probably were making him awake in seconds.

It was not fast enough.

The door opened in a crash and all I could see was gold. Pale skin and golden wings mixed with white, a clear sign of archangels.

By The Angel no. No. No. No. How did they find us? We were careful. They weren't supposed to find us. No!

It was too late. Everything was happening two fast. Too many things happening too fast. It was two late.

It took only one blink for me to feel something warm dripping onto my hand. Only one snap of my eyes to Magnus to see it's his blood. One scream as I saw them approach. One punch, one kick to see one of them on the floor beneath my feet, tears clouding my vision.

One moment was enough to change everything. One moment was enough to kill. To ruin. Just a fraction of a second and the agonizing pain started in my back. One fraction of a second was enough for everything to start turning black. One fraction was enough for the scream.

I sat up quickly, an agonizing scream leaving my lips, body sweaty and heart hammering in my chest.

It took me a while to calm down. To notice that I am alone in the darkness of my room. It took me a while to notice that it was just a dream. Just a nightmare even if every touch felt so real. Even if the smell of Magnus's skin still felt like it lingered around me. Even if the pain felt so agonizingly real still.

The pain at the base of my wings that felt like I was being ripped apart. The pain in my heart as I watched Magnus bleed to death. It felt so real. So horrifyingly real.

Before I even knew what I was doing I was getting up off the bed and grabbing at first clothes I could find. My mind and body a complete mess as I practically ran out of the room and the front door. The aftershock of the dream still heavy and fresh. Way too fresh.

It was cold out but I couldn't find it in myself to care as I hurried forward. Jacket forgotten somewhere back home so that only the wings wrapped around me were keeping me warm. Wings that were white. So beautifully white. I have never felt so relieved and happy to see the whiteness of them as I kept walking as if in a daze. Not even thinking where I'm going because I knew. I knew where I'm going and I knew by heart how to get there.

That was such a good thing at the moment because my mind was too wracked to function properly to remember my name let alone directions.

It didn't take me long before I found myself in front of a familiar door, walking up creaky stairs that I knew way too good, one more door and I was there. Standing in the darkness of a silent overly colorful living room. Magnus's old lodge from years ago that he still decide to keep.

All the memories hit me all at once.

It has been so long since I stepped foot in here. Last time was a few months ago when I just couldn't take it anymore, the longing and wanting becoming too much once again but that time I gave in and walked to the only place I knew I could. It was empty and covered in dust and it did nothing to help my heartache. If anything it made it worse.

This time it was different though.

The furniture was there. No dust in sight. A fresh smell of Magnus lingering everywhere. Magnus. Magnus. Everything screamed Magnus.

My heart ached once again. But now for a different reason. The dream felt too real. They always do. But I can't anymore. I can't.

The door of the bedroom slightly creaked as I pushed it open.

My heart seemed to leap in relief as I saw the sleeping figure on the bed. Relief and tiredness. That was all I could feel as I made my way to the bed, taking off my clothes as I did.

The tiredness wasn't from the lack of sleep though. It was from everything. It was from life. I was just…tired. Tired of everything. Always tired.

The bed shifted slightly as I slipped under the covers next to the one and only person that can calm my still racing heart. The only person that can give me assurance by only one touch. The only person I needed at the moment.

Arms found themselves around my waist and I was pulled onto a warm body I craved for so much. I was pulled into his embrace like it's the most perfect and normal thing there is. And it was. It really was.

The heartbeat that I could suddenly hear as my head found itself on his chest was the most perfect thing I ever heard. It is the best sound in my life. I love it the most. I always will.

"Alexander?" A sleepy voice whispered huskily into my ear and I couldn't help but smile. It was perfect. Even after that dream just being like this, just seeing him was still perfect. It was still able to make me smile. "What's-"

"I…It was a bad dream." I cut him off and mumbled onto his bare skin. The feeling of it on mine addictive. "I had a bad dream and I needed you. I missed you."

I knew I wasn't allowed to say that. And I knew I wouldn't say it so lightly if this was any other day. If this was any other moment. But right now it felt right. After that dream it needed to be said. After that dream I couldn't find it in me to fight it.

The feeling of lips on top of my head made me sigh.

"I'm here." He said tightening his arms around me just like he did in the dream. "I'm not going anywhere. Sleep. I'm here."

He understood.

Of course he understood.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Hopefully this was good and you will like it and review._

_Oh and if you were wondering Yes Alec has these kind of dreams a lot. And even if you weren't wondering now you know anyway._

_Review my lovelies._


End file.
